Farm Kid in the Army

Dear Ma and Pa,

I am well.  Hope you are. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the Army beats working for old man Minch by a mile. Tell them to join up quick before all of the places are filled.

I was restless at first because you get to stay in bed till nearly 6 a.m. But I am getting so I like to sleep late. Tell Walt and Elmer all you do before breakfast is smooth your cot, and shine some things.  No hogs to slop, feed to pitch, mash to mix, wood to split, fire to lay. Practically nothing.

Men got to shave but it is not so bad, there’s warm water.  Breakfast is strong on trimmings like fruit juice, cereal, eggs, bacon, etc.., but kind of weak on chops, potatoes, ham, steak, fried eggplant, pie and other regular food, but tell Walt and Elmer you can always sit by the two city boys that live on coffee. Their food,  plus yours,  holds you until noon when you get fed again. It’s no wonder these city boys can’t walk much.

We go on ‘route marches,’ which the platoon sergeant says are long walks to harden us.  If he thinks so, it’s not my place to tell him different.  A ‘route march’ is about as far as to our mailbox at home. Then the city guys get sore feet and we all ride back in trucks.

The sergeant is like a school teacher.  He nags a lot.  The Captain is like the school board.   Majors and colonels just ride around and frown. They don’t bother you none.

This next will kill Walt and Elmer with laughing.  I keep getting medals for shooting.   I don’t know why.  The bulls-eye is near as big as a chipmunk head and don’t move, and it ain’t shooting at you like the Higgett boys at home.  All you got to do is lie there all comfortable and hit it.  You don’t even load your own cartridges They come in boxes.

Then we have what they call hand-to-hand combat training.  You get to wrestle with them city boys.  I have to be real careful though, they break real easy.  It ain’t like fighting with that ole bull at home.  I’m about the best they got in this except for that Tug Jordan from over in Silver  Lake.   I only beat him once.  He joined up the same time as me, but I’m only 5′6′ and 130 pounds and he’s 6′8′ and near 300 pounds dry.

Be sure to tell Walt and Elmer to hurry and join before other fellers get onto this setup and come stampeding in.

Your loving daughter ,

 Alice

Sunday Phunnies

 
Ram – That thar thang what splits the farwood

Hard Drive – Gitten home in the winter time

Windows – Whut to shut when its cold outside

Screen – Whut to shut when its black fly season

Byte – Whut dem dang flys do

Chip – Munchies fer the TV

Micro Chip – Whut’s in the bottom of the munchie bag

Modem – Whatcha do to the hay fields

Dot Matrix – Ole Dan Matrix’s wife

Lap Top – Whar the kitty sleeps

Keyboard – Whar you hang the dang truck keys

Software – Dem dang plastic forks and knifes

Mouse – What eats the grain in the barn

Mouse Pad – That’s hippie talk fer where the mouse lives

Main Frame – Holds up the barn roof

Port – Fancy flatlander wine

Enter – Notherner talk fer “C’Mon in y’all”

Click – Whut you hear when you cock yer gun

Double Click – When you cock the double barrel

I Remember

While cleaning the other day I came across a couple of bins with some of the items I have made for my grandchildren over the years. I remember so well when they were young enough to wear these.

I have 2 granddaughters and when they were young I would smock dresses for them. I love smocking but my girls are getting big and I don’t often find patterns for their sizes. It is a craft I hope to pick back up in the future but for now I will enjoy just looking at these gorgeous dresses. (They have been packed away in bins so please excuse the wrinkles.)

These first two are bishop dresses made for the girls when they were very young.

Warning!!

BEWARE OF TERRORIST GROUPS IN CHURCH.
 
 
   Latest news reports are that five terrorist cell groups have been operating in many of our churches. They have been identified as: Bin Sleepin, Bin Arguin, Bin Fightin, Bin Complainin, and Bin Missin.
 
   Their leader, Lucifer Bin Workin, trained these groups to destroy the Body of Christ. The plan is to come into the church disguised as Christians and to work within the church to discourage, disrupt, and destroy.
 
   However, there have been reports of a sixth group. A tiny cell known by the name Bin Prayin is actually the only effective counter terrorism force in the church. Unlike other terrorist cells, the Bin Prayin team does not blend in with whoever and whatever comes along.
 
   Bin Prayin does whatever is needed to uplift and encourage the Body of Christ. We have noticed that the Bin Prayin cell group has different characteristics than the others. They have Bin Watchin, Bin Waitin, Bin Fastin, and Bin Longin for their Master, Jesus Christ to return.
 
   NO CHURCH IS EXEMPT!
 
   (However, you can spot them if you bin lookin and bin goin.)

I hope you can spot them!!

Sunday Phunnies

Top Signs that You’ve Grown Up

Your potted plants stay alive.

6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to sleep.

You hear your favorite song on an elevator.

You carry an umbrella. You watch the Weather Channel.

You go from 130 days of vacation time to 7.

Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as “dressed up.”

You’re the one calling the police because those darn kids next door don’t know how to turn down the stereo.

You don’t know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.

Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.

You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald’s.

Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.

You no longer take naps from noon to 6 p.m.

Dinner and a movie = The whole date instead of the beginning of one.

MTV News is no longer your primary source for information.

You actually eat breakfast foods at breakfast time.

Grocery lists are longer than macaroni and cheese, diet Pepsi and Ho-Ho’s.

Over 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.

The Closet Redone

When I tackled the guest room closet I was not sure exactly where to begin.  It was such a mess.

I knew I had to paint the closet before I could concentrate on organizing it, so I pulled everything out, including the shelves that were screwed into the wall. Starting with it completely empty is much easier than taping the parts I did not want to paint.

I patched a few tiny holes and painted the closet. Then I put the shelves back in place but this time I only installed one lower shelf.  The next step was to decide what to keep and what to get rid of.  Then came the organizing.

I had thought I might buy a closet organizer but once I got everything out and took a good look at what I had, I decided to use the same shelves with a few changes.   

A Change of Pace

Business has been slow so far this year so I decided to use the time to build up my inventory.  In the past few weeks I have made about 10 pioneer outfits.  Now that I have a little inventory built up I am going to take a break from sewing (unless I receive a special order) and do some work around the house.

We have lived in our home for about 12 years and it is starting to show.  About 7 years ago I painted and wallpapered most of the house and it is time to do it again.  The wall paper is starting to tear and droop (I will never put wall paper up again!) and the last time I painted I ignored the inside of the closets.  Of course, that means the closets are still painted with contractor’s paint and are in desperate need of new coat!

So beginning tomorrow I plan on doing some of these much needed repairs.  Sounds like fun, right!  Actually I enjoy doing this and I enjoy my hubby being at work while I am doing it.  So it has become my project.  I think my oldest grandson is coming down in a few weeks to help with the big jobs and I will be very glad for his help.

More Inventory Items

I just completed 4 more pioneer outfits to be placed in inventory for the rush that I sure hope is coming soon!  Business has been very slow so far this year and I am really hoping it picks up soon.

The first 2 outfits will fit a size 4-6 child. This one is blue with white flowers and the pinafore is white with blue flowers.

Sunday Phunnies

Nine Months Later
Jack decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob. They loaded up Jack’s minivan and headed north. After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard. They pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who answered the door if they could spend the night.

“I realize it’s terrible weather out there and I have this huge house all to myself, but I’m recently widowed,” she explained. “I’m afraid the neighbors will talk if I let you stay in my house.”

“Don’t worry,” Jack said. “We’ll be happy to sleep in the barn. And if the weather breaks, we’ll be gone at first light.”

The lady agreed, and the two men found their way to the barn and settled in for the night. Come morning, the weather had cleared, and they got on their way. They enjoyed a great weekend of skiing.

About nine months later, Jack got an unexpected letter from an attorney. It took him a few minutes to figure it out, but he finally determined that it was from the attorney of that attractive widow he had met on the ski weekend.

He dropped in on his friend Bob and asked, “Bob, do you remember that good-looking widow from the farm we stayed at on our ski holiday up North?”

“Yes, I do.”

“Did you happen to get up in the middle of the night and pay her a visit?

“Yes,” Bob said, a little embarrassed about being found out. “I have to admit that I did.”

“And did you happen to use my name instead of telling her your name?”

Bob’s face turned red and he said, “Yeah, sorry, buddy. I’m afraid I did. Why do you ask?”

“She just died and left me everything.”

(And you thought the ending would be different, didn’t you? Now keep that smile for the rest of the day!)

Underwater Sights and Wonders

Credit for this information and the photos goes to Wikipedia.  Many lists have been made of modern day wonders.

The Seven Underwater Wonders of the World was a list drawn up by CEDAM International, an American-based non-profit group for divers, dedicated to ocean preservation and research.

In 1989 CEDAM brought together a panel of marine scientists, including Dr. Eugenie Clark, to pick underwater areas which they considered to be worthy of protection. The results were announced at The National Aquarium in Washington DC by actor Lloyd Bridges, who played in a TV show titled Sea Hunt:

Palau

Palau, officially the Republic of Palau, is an island nation in the Pacific Ocean, some 500 miles east of the Philippines and 2,000 miles south of Tokyo.
It recently became known to the world through the television show, Survivor.