“Old” is when …
Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you’re barefoot.
A sexy babe catches your fancy and. . .your pacemaker opens the garage door.
Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.
You don’t care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don’t have to go along.
When you are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police.