Sunday Phunnies

IF  MY BODY WERE A CAR…

 If  my body were a car, this is the time I would be thinking about
 trading it in for a newer model.
 I’ve got bumps and dents and  scratches in my finish and my paint job is getting a little dull,  but  that’s not the worst of it.
 My headlights are out of focus and it’s especially hard to see things up
 close.
 

My traction  is not as graceful as it once was.
 I slip and slide and skid and bump into things even in the best of
 weather.
 My whitewalls are stained with varicose veins.
 It takes me hours to reach my maximum speed.
 My fuel burns inefficiently.
But here’s the worst of it —

 Almost every time I sneeze, cough  or sputter…..either my radiator
 leaks  or my exhaust backfires!